Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. We were just having a little fun. Laura Lee Winslow: Fun? People just love juicy gossip! Oh, yes it is! The truth is you deserve a kiss. April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. "Family Matters Quotes." The wind has chapped my lips. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Laura: By being born first. It's a "non-date". Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. 1. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? It's always tomorrow with that boy! Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Or are they just lame? I'm in big trouble! At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Please, my little Rapunzel. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Who? A heart that hurts. Bazooms! Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! No Traffic. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. College Problems Student Problems Steve Urkel: Of course. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! Steve Urkel: Why? Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. You're always sorry. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Oh, I see. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Waldo, you may go now. I'm drawn to you. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. The next minute rump roast! Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. You would win the gold. [smiles]. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. Steve Urkel: Practice. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". I'm here. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Stefan Urkelle: Good lord, you're a nerd. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. I love you more than life itself. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Mont gio sam eea!". Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Why would somebody do this to me?' Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Oh my God! Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. Steve Urkel: Oh, Laura, my love. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. She actually said, "Human Being". Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. I can't! Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Steve Urkel Pick Up Lines - tqquu.rocks Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. I'm on duty? Harriette Winslow: I am not! Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? [reading] "Mongu! Will you marry me? We're starved. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, The real Psycho Twins would have still been in the ring wrestling, If It wasn't for Your stupid sleepy juice. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? I just caught her, that's all. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. Sorry. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. Self respect. I'm starved. Steve Urkel: From my stay-away fund. He introduced himself and I was immediately struck by deep brown eyes, his engaging sense of humor and how delicately he handled my cantalopes. My, what strong arms. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Reading, 'Riting and Racism? [Pulls him into a hug]. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? You're late for class. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Topics Nerd. I'm sorry, call you next week? And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. Forget it, Steve. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Their own version of the 3 R's? If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. She's mine! Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! STANDS4 LLC, 2023. No. There's room for you and there's room for me although let's be quite honest, you take up a lot more room than me. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. Colonel Dirk Urkel! Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Dad took Waldo instead of me. Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Steve Urkel: So, you used me! Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. Clean up your room Edward. Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! He's gonna drive us tonight. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Carl Otis Winslow: Now honey, it's really ok Harriette Winslow: No it's not ok, Carl. Steve Urkel: What? My doctor slapped the wrong end. Steve Urkel: Calm down? [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. Laura: Yeah. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Would you rather be buried or cremated? And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. But I recognized him right away. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Harriette: Soon, baby. next semester, are ya? Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. And what about the car show last Saturday? Steve Urkel: Why, to make everyone think that the woman I love actually loves me back? Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Well, why didn't you tell me? The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. The Battle of Pickup Lines: Part 1 || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. How much do I owe you for parking? Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. And I like the Red Sox. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Wha? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Newsflash, Eddie! Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. And we practiced for six minutes! You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Carl: What? Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? No! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! I'm not your personal doormat. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Steve Urkel: Oh no! Or was it yellow? Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! I won't be able to take you to the prom. Carl will understand. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Rachel Crawford: Right. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? Let me tell you something though Weasel. Steve is the perfect son. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". She lived a long and full life. 8. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. How about the next round we switch colors? Steve Urkel: I can't! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. I'm in college. Laura: No! I can turn you down without destroying your ego. But you'll never play in this game again. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. The Battle of Bad Pickup Lines: Round 1 || STEVE HARVEY Harriette Winslow: I know. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. This is fantastic! Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? And it's all my fault. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. . I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. I wanna read it to my mom. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. Eddie: No, grandma. Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Because, I already told him I do remember him. People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. 'Steve Urkel' actor launches cannabis brand on 4/20 Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Did He Do That? - The New York Times 89. Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. "Tomorrow, Dad!" So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit.
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